After being on an intermittent fasting/mostly paleo diet for one full week and feeling pretty good about myself, this morning I woke up with sinus junk. Talk about a kick in the balls. My sinuses continue to challenge me. That being said, don’t cry for me Argentina. We all need our challenges, those things that keep us humble and give us compassion for ourselves and others. My sinuses are mine. Plus, they’re A LOT better than they used to be, and I’ve found something (a probiotic) that helps fight off infections. So I started playing around with that today. It’s not an exact science. Fingers crossed.

Now, back to my first full week of dieting. I lost 2.6 pounds.

Insert the “Hallelujah” chorus here.

Y’all, losing weight, or trying to lose weight, can really screw with your mind. Like, when I’m not trying to lose weight, I just eat whatever I want and think, Oh, I’ll get rid of this fat later. (You know, on some Tuesday I have free.) But as soon as I start losing weight, I’m either immediately frustrated (Why isn’t this working?!) or, if it is working, terrified that it won’t keep working (What if I gain it back?!). This means that I’ve spent today basically being neurotic. On the one hand I’ve been elated. I’m FINALLY using all those tortilla chips I ate this summer. On the other hand I’ve been worried I don’t have whatever it takes (the discipline, the knowledge, the money) to get well and stay well.

Along these lines, the part of me that loves chocolate-filled donuts wants to go ahead and quit right now. Like, 2.6 pounds–that’s enough.

All this being said, I’m going to stick with everything. This evening I went to the grocery store to buy more food and spilled an entire carton of blueberries all over checkout aisle two. I guess this situation has happened before, since the cashier had a broom on standby and said the blueberry cartons were poorly made. My point is that just because you wake up sick one day or spill some blueberries doesn’t mean you give up on being healthy, give up on buying groceries. Life is full of setbacks. Absolutely full of them. What do you do?

You clean up the blueberries and move on.

I’ve noticed my body kicks up a fuss whenever I dramatically change something in my life like my diet. Mostly, I get cranky. Someone says my name, and I want to chop their head off. I haven’t eaten a biscuit in over a week! is what I’m screaming on the inside. On the outside however, I’ve learned to remain (mostly) calm. That is, I’ve learned how to control myself, how to act socially appropriate even if I don’t feel like it. Recently I heard that these feelings of frustration and upset are simply part of the price we pay for our previous (poor) choices (to, you know, eat biscuits). Like, whenever I’ve quit cigarettes, I’ve gone into nicotine withdrawals, which are hell–and simply the cost for having smoked.

Having quit bad habits and changed my diet (and even having gone through a sinus infection) before, I know that no feeling is final. That is, if you’re willing to let your body put up a fuss, if you’re willing to go through biscuit or nicotine withdrawals, things will eventually balance out. Give it a week or two. Make good choices even if you don’t feel like it. You’ll be glad you did. In the meantime, you just have to remind yourself to hang in there, to not give up simply because you’re not experiencing immediate gratification. You have to keep going and not overanalyze everything. This afternoon I taught a dance lesson to a former student, who, despite their thinking they’d forgotten everything, did just fine. “Just keep your feet moving and try not to think,” I said. “Thinking gets you into trouble.”