It’s ten-thirty at night, and I’ve been awake since six-thirty this morning. No shit. I got up to walk my friend’s dog (I’m house sitting) and never went back to bed. Rather, I had the most productive morning–made breakfast, stretched, read a book (Cat on a Hot Tin Roof). Then I picked my dad up, and we went to the gym to work out. Boy, did that feel good. Then Dad and I picked up my aunt, and we went to a taco truck for lunch. I went to the same truck last night for dinner. They have burritos as big as your face for six dollars. Six dollars! You can’t beat that. Anyway, it’s a good thing I worked out today because this afternoon I ate my entire burrito and half of my aunt’s.

This is why I’m not losing weight.

This evening I took the dog for a walk and haven’t done a productive thing since. Well, wait, I did take a shower. That was a good thing. Other than that, I’ve wasted the night way surfing the internet. You know how one ignorant thing leads to another. And whereas part of my brain keeps thinking, Do something PRODUCTIVE, Marcus. Do something on your TO DO LIST, most of me is content to just–what’s the word?–veg. Hell, if it weren’t for this blog I’d be vegging right now, or passed out. And not that I MIND turning on my brain to blog, I just don’t have much to say.

My therapist talks a lot about back taxes. Specifically, she often says that I owe back taxes when it comes to feeling my emotions and crying. Anyway, this is my one profound idea today, that I have a lot of catching up to do when it comes to wasting time and doing nothing. That is, when I was a teenager I was forced to grow up pretty quick. And not that I never vegged on a Saturday night and watched ten episodes of Get Smart, but, looking back, I could have done a lot more of that. So the way I see it, tonight was sort of about catching up, or at least about honoring (that’s another word my therapist uses) my inner child/teenager/time waster. (Uh, if I’m having fun and relaxing, is it really wasting time? And who gets to decide these things anyway?) Not that I need an explanation or an excuse to sit on my butt and surf the web. I’m an adult and can do what I want.

And so can you.

We’re all adults here.

We can veg if we want to.