Last night I danced until three-thirty in the morning and passed out about four. Then I slept like shit and woke up with a headache about nine-thirty. There’s a nerve in my neck that’s been pinched for several days now, and it was “talking” to me as soon as I crawled out of bed. So that wasn’t fun. (It’s still not fun.) Anyway, I cleaned up, got dressed, and went in search of the breakfast buffet. And whereas I felt like a zombie, another dancer who saw me said, “Good job–you look awake!”

“Smoke and mirrors,” I said. “Smoke and mirrors.”

Somehow, even though I’m not technically working or heavily participating in the swing-dance event this weekend, it’s been a busy day. This morning I was invited to participate in a brainstorming meeting, and that turned into a couple other mini-meetings that happened this afternoon and evening. When those things weren’t happening, I watched the competitions. Y’all, it really is badass here. Not only does this event boast some of the best swing and social dancers on the planet, it also boasts a ton of newbie and intermediate dancers who have unmatched passion and creativity. You should see the looks on their faces. As one person who’s here for the first time said, “This room is pure joy.”

This evening my dear friend Randy, who lives nearby-ish and went to college with my dad, drove to the hotel where I’m staying to take me out to dinner. Talk about a good guy. He even waited patiently for thirty minutes while I participated in a meeting that ran over. And whereas we didn’t have a plan for where to go, we ended up at a lovely Italian restaurant that was delightful from start to finish and had one of THE BEST chocolate cakes I have ever put in my mouth. As Randy said, “It was worth the price of admission.”

I mean, it was covered in hazelnut cream sauce.

Back at the hotel after dinner with Randy, first I watched a couple competitions, then I danced, then I grabbed a beer with a friend, then I danced some more, then I went to a late-night breakfast. (Thankfully dancing burns a ton of calories, since God knows I’m doing plenty of eating lately.) Then for over two hours I chatted with the people at my table–mostly about the event. I’ll spare you the details, but I will say this–I LOVE being around people who see possibility and aren’t afraid to dream and aren’t afraid to work to make their dreams come true.

Now it’s three-thirty in the morning, and I can’t rub two thoughts together. My brain is shutting down. At the same time, my body wants to be dancing. All that to say that although I normally adore this blog, it feels like an inconvenience in this moment. Like, I’ve had a FULL day without it, and now you (whoever you are) want me to cram it in last thing and still say something intelligible? I mean, it’s asking a lot. And yes, I know that I’M the one who’s asking it.

Today during one of the meetings, someone said, “Marcus, you haven’t said anything this entire time.” So I said, “Well, I’m mostly taking it all in,” but then I gave some thoughts. And I’ll be damned if my voice wasn’t shaking the entire time, I guess because I was around a lot of people I don’t know very well and I’m–uh–the new kid on the block. Still, I spoke and shared what was true for me. And whereas I sometimes devalue what I have to say, people listened. Not like it was gospel, but like it was helpful. And that’s what this blog has taught me. Write–even if you’re tired, even if it’s not your best, even if you think it quite frankly sucks. Write anyway. Dream–even if you don’t know if or how your dreams will come true. Speak–even if your voice quivers.