I spent today in Little Rock with a friend. We met this morning in Fort Smith, grabbed breakfast at a drive thru, drove down, ate a delightful lunch, then went to an antique store. Then we saw the musical Waitress. Then we did just a wee bit of shopping and drove home, stopping along the way in Russellville for dinner at Feltner’s Whatta-burger, a regional favorite. And whereas we had a fabulous time, it made for a long day. Over five hours on the road, all that running around, and all that eating. (If you do it right, it’s an effort for both you and your insulin.) Currently it’s after midnight, and it’s all I can do to keep my eyes open. As my friend said earlier, “I’m worn to a frazzle.”

Whatever a frazzle is.

Along these lines, today I’ve felt like my body is falling apart. I’ve had a headache. My elbow’s been itching from psoriasis, a condition that hasn’t bothered me in months but just this week has reappeared. Likewise, my leg’s been hurting from sciatica, something that hasn’t happened in years. And whereas part of me is scared that things are getting worse, part of me is convinced it’s just retracing, a phenomenon I blogged about recently in which the body recreates past illnesses in order to more fully heal them.

And if it’s not retracing, Marcus?

Then I’m screwed.

Just kidding. Whether it’s retracing or not, I’m taking care of myself. This evening I took Tylenol for my headache. Tonight I put both Vitamin E and a prescription cream on my elbow. Currently I have an icepack on my leg (because my sciatica is apparently related to inflammation, and ice helps calm things down). Sure, having to deal with these problems is frustrating, but the specific things I’m having to do to deal with them–thank goodness–aren’t complicated. Pop a pill. Rub in some cream. Grab an ice pack.

Simple.

Along the lines of not being complicated, my favorite song from the show today was called “You Matter to Me.” A duet between two of the main characters, who happen to have fallen for each other, it’s essentially their way of saying, “I love you.” The not complicated tie-in being when they say, “Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody.” More and more I see relationships that work–hell, anything that works–like this. Simple, plain, non-demanding. Ugh. We all know people around whom we have to walk on eggshells, people who make everything (including loving them) harder than it has to be. Complicated. And yet loving someone isn’t complicated.

Because love is straightforward.

More and more, this straightforward kind of love is what’s attractive to me. Not just in a romantic sense, but in a practical, everyday sense. Recently my aunt asked me to tweeze her eyebrows because she was shaking too bad. So I did. Later she said, “I know you probably didn’t want to do that.” But I did want to do that. That’s why I did it. “If I hadn’t wanted to do that, I wouldn’t have done it,” I said. See? Straightforward, simple. My aunt acted like it was a big deal, but it wasn’t. Someone asked for something I was able to give, so I gave it. Likewise, when my body asks for something I can give–a pill, a nap, a good long cry, whatever–I try to give it.

Because, why wouldn’t I?

My friend and I joked today about my being high maintenance. Because I had to buy a magnet at the show (like always), and I had to have everything in the car just so before I could start driving. And whereas I don’t apologize for being fussy, I do believe that the fussier we are with respect to ourselves, others, and our environments, the less happy we are. Because the more demands we put on life, the harder it is for life to please us. Most of us say, “I’ll love me, my life, and others when–I get a lover, a better body, more money.” Thus, we love conditionally. Complicated. The mystics, however, say it’s possible to love unconditionally, to love not because everything in life is going your way, but rather because it’s your nature to do so. “Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody.” They call this “love without an object,” meaning you don’t need “a thing” to make you happy. Because it’s not about something “out there” making you feel better or putting love inside you. Rather, it’s about something “in here” making you feel better and putting love out into the world.