It’s 10:47 at night, and I spent most of the day–over eight hours–on the road home from Nashville. As I’m exhausted and still need to do my knee rehab exercises, my intent is to keep tonight’s blog simple and knock it out lickety-split. Here we go.

1. On me and my body

Last night before I fell asleep, I had a chat with my body. In short, I told it that 1) I knew it was doing the best it could, 2) I wanted to stop criticizing it, 3) I’d like for us to work together, and 4) I’d try to not only listen to it more, but also try to believe in its wisdom and ability to heal. Anyway, who’s to say what causes what, but I’ve felt ever-so slightly better today. Not like my skin issues cleared up overnight or I woke up full of energy, but I did wake up more–what’s the word?–hopeful. Anyway, I imagine I need to have this conversation with my body a few (hundred) more times, and I’m willing to do this. Regardless of what’s going on with me physically or how I actually feel, me and my body need to be friends.

2. On being nice

This morning for breakfast Bonnie and I ate at a crepe shop in Nashville, and there was a sign–an arrow that pointed toward the counter where you place your order–that said, “Nice People.” Cute, right? Well, it made me think of something my therapist has told me a million times–“Nice is a strategy.” And whereas I know I’ve quoted her on this matter before, I’m not sure I’ve really fleshed it out.

Personally, I know my default way of being in the world–for years–has been to be “nice.” I was raised in the south, after all. So often I’ve thought I’ve had to reply to every text message, right away, or not stand up for myself, in the interest of being “polite.” You know, What will people think? But my therapist says, “Nice is something you are when you want something,” even if it’s just for people to like you or believe you’re a good person. “It’s very different than being kind.”

Is being nice wrong? Of course not. My therapist says she’s nice to secretaries and doormen (because you catch more flies with honey than you do vinegar). But again, she’s clear that being nice is a strategy, just like being passive aggressive or even aggressive is a strategy.

3. On grounding

During the ride home today (my friend Bonnie drove), while I was reading a self-help book, I learned a grounding exercise to help relax you body and calm your nerves. Basically, it helps pull you out of your anxious thoughts and into the present moment. First, you FEEL your feet on the floor. Then you notice three things–the sound of your friend singing, the heat coming through the air vents, the headlights in front of you (or whatever).

Normally my go-to thought with these methods is, Shit like this doesn’t work for me, but I’m working on believing that it can, that if shit like this can work for other people, it can work for me.