This morning before I’d even really woken up, my dad said, “I hate to say this before you’ve had your coffee, but do you think you could mow the lawn today?” Well, he was right. Decaffeinated, I wasn’t in the mood to think about anything, much less work.” However, for whatever reason, I was determined to have a good day, so I said, “Sure, I can do that after I eat breakfast.” The problem, however, was that as I worked, it got cloudier and cloudier. It actually started raining while I was mowing the backyard. Still, I kept going. Then, about the time I was, I don’t know, about eighty percent done, the bottom fell out.

As my family says, it pissed and poured.

Forced to quit in the middle of a project, I was faced with a choice–get upset (that I didn’t finish) or accept life as it was in that moment. I chose option two. Indeed, I went a step further. I continued to work–and play–in the rain (closing the gate, moving flower pots, etc.). I actually sat down in the street in the rushing water to wash my legs off. I can’t tell you how much fun it was, the water lapping all over my body. Later Dad told Mom, “I wish you could have seen your son. He was SPLASHING water all over himself like a little kid.”

Of course, part of me is bothered that the lawn isn’t mowed, that things aren’t completed. But in the midst of the downpour, I thought, I’ve worked really hard over the years to get the patience that I have, so I might as well use it. Said another way, patience is a skill that I’ve developed. It’s a tool in my toolbox. So whereas my default is to get at least slightly worked up when things don’t go my way (or at most panic and cuss like a sailor), I know that I don’t HAVE to get worked up. Instead, as all those damn memes on the internet say, I can remain calm–and exercise patience.

This evening I worked at my friends Todd and Bonnie’s house reinstalling the door hardware that I’ve been cleaning (shining) these last couple weeks. This involved hanging doors on hinges, and THIS involved exercising more patience because things never fit the same when you put them back on as they do when you take them off. There’s all this adjusting to do. Sometimes the doorknobs won’t turn. More adjusting. Anyway, what I thought would be two-hour project turned into a six-hour one. How do you work in a house with over twenty doors? One door at at time. If you’re not in a hurry, there’s not a problem.

My mantra for today has been, Everything that’s happens today is what’s supposed to happen. Therefore, I’m not going to get upset. If something is THAT BAD, I’ll be upset about it tomorrow. So when a door wouldn’t shut, I’d just try again. When my mechanic discovered that I needed a new alternator, I thought, These things happen. When I got the bill later, I thought, I’m grateful to have a working vehicle, and at least I’ve been employed lately.

Now that the day is over, it’s possible that some of my–um–ignored frustrations have added up and are getting under my skin. As I’m writing, I’m ready to be done, ready to be in bed, and I’m finding myself irritated. Granted, it’s two in the morning, and–I think–my body is mostly asking for a break. Plus, I think it’s “normal” to get upset when things don’t go your way, when things take longer or cost more than you think they’re going to. That being said, I think it behooves us to TRY to manage our chosen responses. I say chosen responses rather than knee-jerk-reactions, since I imagine a part of us will always think, Shit, whenever we’re slapped with a mechanic’s bill. But that doesn’t mean we have to play Isn’t It Awful? for hours after our initial disappointment.

For me, patience takes practice and is a practice. When I hear people say, “I’m not very patient,” I think, That’s because you haven’t worked at it. That’s because–every day for decades–you’ve practiced something else–getting upset, for example, when things don’t go your way. (I include myself in this statement.) Because you’re gonna respond TO LIFE one way or the other–with agitation and frustration or with patience and grace. So again, we’re back to choices, back to what we choose to practice.

Personally, if I were giving myself a grade for patience today, I’d give me a solid B, maybe a B-. I’m okay with this. I don’t have to get an A+ for patience. I don’t have to be “perfect.” As a friend recently said, “Perfection takes a lot of work.” And just as I don’t have to be perfect at patience, I don’t have to mow the entire lawn in one day or hang every door in one evening. In terms of my emotions, it’s enough to do better than knee-jerk. It terms of working, it’s enough to do better than not mowing the lawn or not hanging any doors at all.

It’s enough to make progress.