As We Wiggle (Blog #500!)

Yesterday I drove to Tulsa to dance and have an informal business meeting with a friend of mine. It was simply the perfect day. First I poked around in a bookstore, did some window shopping, and read a short book that I bought a few days ago about quality. Then I went to the dance and saw some of my favorite folks. Talk about quality! I got to see my friend Hannah, who’s a badass dancer, has a killer wardrobe, and always makes me laugh-laugh-laugh. She’s glorious. Then I got to see my friend Marina, who’s ninety-six, still dances, and had a t-shirt on that said, “I never planned to be AWESOME. It just happened.” Also glorious.

At the end of the evening, Marina and I got into a conversation about birthdays. Hers is in March. “Yours is in September,” she recalled. “Yes,” I said. “What do you think I should do to celebrate?”

Marina leaned back and threw her arms out wide. “DO SOMETHING CRAZY!”

I love it, and just might.

After the dance I met my friends Greg and Rita for dinner at a local pub, Kilkenny’s, the coolest spot to hang out. There, while waiting for the son Mason to show up, Greg and Rita and I talked about how this was the norm in some societies, to end the day by meeting your friends for a drink, to connect with your community. “In Europe, television is expensive,” Rita said, “so people actually get out of their houses and look for ways to interact with each other.”

Now there’s a novel idea.

When Mason arrived, he and I turned our chairs toward each other and chatted about business and marketing (his field of expertise) for an hour or two. At one point Mason joked to someone else, “I charge $500 an hour, but Marcus doesn’t know that yet.” At the end of the evening, I said, “I really do appreciate your letting me pick your brain, since I know this is your profession.” Then Mason gave me a hug and said, “Anytime. You’re family.” This is no small thing, when other people accept you with open arms.

Also glorious.

Leaving Tulsa at two in the morning, I stopped once on the side of the turnpike in the middle of nowhere to look at stars. There’s a meteor shower (The Perseids) this weekend, and I was hoping to get a better glance outside the smog and light-pollution of the big city. And whereas I only saw two falling stars, I saw two falling stars! Plus, I could see the Milky Way and hundreds (if not thousands) of stars that I normally can’t see in Van Buren. Actually, I saw so many stars that I had a hard time finding many of the familiar constellations that I can normally spot at a glance. I’m just not accustomed to the sky being so “busy.”

Driving the rest of the way home, I thought, I wish I’d seen more falling stars. But when I got back to Van Buren the sky was covered in clouds–I couldn’t see a damn thing. So I was immediately and deeply grateful for my time on the side of the turnpike with my head craned toward the heavens, when, for a brief moment, everything shone.

During the last half of my drive, I listened to a CD by the philosopher Alan Watts. He’s dead now, but he’s one of my favorites. Anyway, just as I was pulling into Van Buren, Alan said, “When you look at the clouds, they are not symmetrical. They do not form fours and they do not come along in cubes, but you know at once that they are not a mess. They are wiggly, but in a way, orderly, although it is difficult for us to describe that kind of order. Now, take a look at yourselves. You are all wiggly. We are just like clouds, rocks, and stars. Look at the way the stars are arranged. Do you criticize the way the stars are arranged?

I can’t tell you how much I love this, the reminder that it’s okay–normal–to be wiggly like a cloud or scattered about like the stars–sometimes hiding behind the clouds, sometimes shining brightly, sometimes falling. Today’s blog is number 500 (in a row!). Looking back, it’s been a lot of “seasons,” a lot of ups and downs, a lot of trips and falls. Yet this is clearly the way of it, the way of life. We come together, we dance, we say goodbye. (We wiggle.) And how good it is to know that as we wiggle, you and I are exactly like the clouds and the stars–also glorious.

All–so–glorious.

Quotes from CoCo (Marcus)

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You can be weird here. You can be yourself.

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This Brief Streak of Light (Blog #259)

A few days ago I stopped taking antihistamines in an effort to stop feeling so tired. Well, the good news is I think it worked. I no longer feel like one of those droopy-eyed dogs. The bad news, however, is that my allergies are still acting up, mostly in terms of watery eyes, itchy ears, and drainage. (If it’s not one thing, it’s another.) Well, since hope springs eternal, yesterday afternoon I went to a natural health food store, a different one that I usually go to. After I told the guy behind the counter what was up, he went on about homeopathics, aromatherapy, and herbs. Finally, he recommended an herbal product, so I’m giving that a whirl. (I’ll let you know how it goes.) But here’s what gets me. As I was checking out, the guy said, “A lot of people are having allergy problems lately.” I said, “Oh yeah?” Then he sniffed his nose and said, “Yeah, I certainly have been.”

Well, shit. If this guy’s got all these magic allergy potions, shouldn’t one of them be able to fix his nose full of snot? This close to returning the product, I walked out of the store feeling like I’d just be sold “a really wonderful condom” by a pregnant woman. Like, it didn’t work for me, but maybe it’ll work for you. Oh, and by the way, that’ll be thirty dollars.

Life’s better with a little salt.

Yesterday evening I got sucked into Amazon Prime’s new series, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. My friend Marla recommended it, and it’s about a “perfect” Jewish girl in the 1950s who gets into standup comedy after her husband admits to having an affair with his secretary. Oh my gosh, y’all, everything about it is magical–the characters, the costumes, the writing. It’s so witty, or–to borrow a word a friend introduced me to recently–salty. (Life’s better with a little salt.) Anyway, I watched four episodes back to back last night, and as much as I love you, I honestly can’t wait to finish this blog and get back to the show.

It’s that good.

Currently it’s two in the afternoon, and I’m at the library. I had a chiropractor appointment this morning, then met my parents for lunch (like, honest-to-god lunch at noon), since they’d been to the doctor’s also. Now I’m killing time writing the blog, waiting for tonight’s improv class. Truth be told, I’m not looking forward to it. Since tonight is the last class of the year, we’ll be performing for an audience. The flyer for the event calls us The Mediocre Jokers, which–I hate to say–is accurate. I mean, we have our moments. But except for me, it’s a bunch of hormone-filled high schoolers, and they’re really a different species altogether, I’ve come to believe. Anyway, I’m thinking of showing up to the show drunk, which is what Mrs. Maisel did the first time she got on stage. Of course, she also flashed the audience, and whereas my bare chest isn’t anything to be ashamed of, a high school probably isn’t the ideal place to show it off. So all things considered, I guess I’ll stay sober.

Good plan, Marcus. Good plan.

Last night was the Geminid Meteor Shower. It’s tonight too, I believe. I just did some Googling, and apparently meteoroids are pieces or rock or debris that break off from a comet and wander about the universe. Well, when earth passes through these floating rocks as it circles the sun, that’s when we see shooting stars or meteors, since meteors are simply meteoroids that burn up as they enter earth’s atmosphere. (I knew it wasn’t easy to live here.) Anyway, last night I went outside in a heavy blanket, turned my head toward the sky, and waited. In just a couple minutes, I saw three shooting stars back to back. Before I called it quits and went inside, I’d seen close to twenty. Talk about magical. More than once, I actually squealed out loud.

While looking for shooting stars, I mostly faced the south, since that’s what the television told me to do. Still, I saw shooting stars in the east and west, so I realized that for every shooting star I saw, there were plenty more just over my shoulder. This made me think about the fact that there were dozens of shooting stars that continued to fall after I went inside, hundreds of beautiful little moments that went quietly into the night as I lay sleeping, unaware.

A meteor doesn’t require an audience to shine.

So often I worry about the future, what my health, what my career will look like. I think about whether or not I’m doing everything just so, just as I think about who reads these words and wonder if anyone really sees me. But it seems as if a meteor is different than I am. Unafraid to stumble about the universe, it is by definition willing to burn itself up in an effort to get from one world to another. And who cares if it succeeds? Failure is just a lovely. What’s more, a meteor doesn’t require an audience to shine. In this sense, perhaps we could all be more like the meteor, this thing we call beautiful, this brief streak of light.

Quotes from CoCo (Marcus)

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Freedom lies on the other side of everything you're afraid of.

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