Last night I went to bed late, so I slept in this morning as much as possible. Still, I’ve felt “off” the entire day–groggy, nervous. For the last ten days I’ve been busy from sunup to sundown, but today there’s been squat to do. Consequently, I spent the entire afternoon inventing to-do list items like making my bed, washing my car, and doing my laundry. I just haven’t been able to sit still. But perhaps all my activity has been good, as it’s allowed me to reorient to normal life after spending nearly a hundred hours in the magical land of Oz.

Sorry, Mom and Dad, but our living room isn’t nearly as fun as Munchkin Land. Especially since your dog shit on the carpet this afternoon while you were gone.

It’s weird how you can get used to a new routine so quickly. For nine days I woke up at 7:30 in the morning so that I could be at work by 9:00. (Me–an early riser!) But after the show Saturday night, I went to bed at 2:00 AM and forgot to set an alarm for our tenth and final day, Sunday. And yet just like that, my body woke me up at 8:00–technically thirty minutes “late,” but still early enough for me to shake a leg and get to work on time. I don’t know–I’ve spent a lot of years not trusting my body, thinking that every ache and pain or lingering illness is a betrayal. But if my body can wake me up to go to work, it’s obviously smart and probably capable of MUCH more than I give it credit for.

I’m trying to believe in my body more. I’m trying to believe in myself more.

Just before tech week started, I was doing my level best to be in bed by midnight or one, limit the amount of caffeine I drank, and exercise. My internal mantra–which I borrowed from fitness guru Susan Powter–was “Eat, breathe, and move.” And whereas I ate healthily during those ten days in Oz, I didn’t bother with the caffeine restriction or even try to exercise (except for all that running around I did backstage). Anyway, I’m planning to ease myself back onto the “better-choices wagon this week, to re-implement those little changes consistently. Historically I’ve given myself a lot of crap for not being “perfect,” but this is life, and life happens. My therapist says, “Don’t say you ONLY dieted for three days. Say you dieted FOR THREE DAYS. That’s huge–some people never make an effort!”

I’m trying to be gentle with myself this time, to not be such a hard-ass perfectionist. I’m trying to handle myself with care.

This evening my friend Emily, who plays The Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz, invited me to join her and a few other cast members for dinner. Oh my gosh, y’all, what a perfect way to end my journey down the yellow brick road. For a couple hours, the five of us laughed, shared stories, and celebrated the birthday of the actor who plays Uncle Henry and the Gatekeeper of The Emerald City–Michael Weaver. Thank y’all!

Not it’s ten o’clock. Like yesterday, I’m awash with emotion, feeling everything from sadness to gratitude. Mostly, I’m tired. It’s especially difficult to know where to put everything when you’re tired. With any luck I’ll be curled up in bed soon with a book in my hands. Oh, Reading, how I have missed thee! Yes, this is what I need–to settle in and settle down, to read a few chapters, and finally to drift off to The Land of Nod, where anything is possible and everything works itself out one way or another.