This morning I lay in bed and thought, Maybe this afternoon I’ll go for a hike. Well, sometimes decisions are made for you. When I got up and looked out the window, it was pissing and pouring. So I didn’t hike today. Instead, I went out for breakfast with my family (today is my sister’s AND my aunt’s birthday), then I came home and worked out. And whereas I didn’t go balls-to-the-wall, my current healthcare philosophy is that something is better than nothing, that it’s more important to get into the habit of exercising than it is to do everything perfectly.

Perfectionism. Screw that.

After working out in my room, I got a burr up my butt to clean it (my room, not my butt). I guess I kept noticing all the I’ll-deal-with-that-later piles while I was standing up stretching and all the dust bunnies and clumps of (my) hair while I was lying on the floor yoga posing. Anyway, I thought, I can whip this place into shape in a hour. And whereas it took longer than that, I got it done–I dusted, vacuumed, rearranged. Now I’m lying in bed, basking in the glow of my hard work. One reason perfectionism is violent is because it won’t let you do this, actually enjoy your accomplishments. It keeps telling you something you did wasn’t good enough, that there’s still more to do.

Down with this sort of thing. There’s ALWAYS more to do. Tonight I’ve been thinking I still have a small pile of papers to sort through, and then there’s my closet. And my bathroom and the garage if I get on a role. Eeek. I could really get overwhelmed if I wanted to. But I don’t. I’d much rather enjoy what has been done. Recently I had someone point out that this was a benefit to slowing down and resting, the realization that a lot has already been accomplished. Take this blog, for example. I often get so bogged down in thoughts about what’s next–a book, perhaps–and how I’m not working on that thing that I feel like a lazy writer. But the truth is I’ve written every day for the last 938 days. I’m not lazy. Plus, as a result of my consistent effort, I have endless material for future projects and have learned more than I could ever fully express.

Yes, a lot has already been accomplished.

Along these lines, six weeks ago I started a diet and exercise program. Basically, I gave myself a year to get in shape. Well, this last week I’ve been obsessing over the fact that my weight loss has come to a standstill. Despite my consistently making healthy choices, I may have even gained a couple pounds that I had lost. Again, this is where perfectionism could really trip a bitch up. That is, it’d be easy for me to go down the rabbit hole of “what a waste of time” and “if I can’t weigh what I did in high school than I might as well be three hundred pounds.” But I’ve been reminding myself that I’m in this for the long haul. I’ve been thinking, Just keep making good choices and see what happens. Be patient.

Lowering my I’ve-gotta-have-it-right-now expectations and slowing myself down helps. Because when I take my focus off what I want to happen that hasn’t and put it on what actually has, I’m pleased. For example, I’ve lost a solid eight pounds, I have more energy, and my clothes feel better. When I saw the doctor a couple weeks ago, the nurse said my blood pressure was “fabulous.” Ten months ago I was on crutches about to have knee surgery. Now my knee isn’t perfect, but I can walk, run, and dance again. More and more I understand that things will never be exactly like we want them to be. They’ll always be something to work on, something to improve. That’s okay. It doesn’t mean we can’t be happy right here, right now.