Last night I went to an outdoor fundraiser with my former student and current friend Marcie, and it was hot as all get-out. (The event was appropriately termed Havana Nights). Thank God there was an open bar with plenty of cold beverages to cool us down. Y’all, it was a great time–tons of music and food (including cupcakes), and even a little dancing. But the big deal–the really big deal–was the Taco Bell food truck. Who knew that such a magical thing even existed? (The truck came all the way from California.) I asked the guy at the window, “How’s this work?” He said, “You tell me what you want, I give it to you, and you eat it.”
And that’s exactly what happened–to the tune of three crunchy tacos and a bean burrito.
They were so good.
Today I’ve spent the day recovering, trying to eat sensibly, trying to rest like my therapist has been suggesting for–oh–four years now. I slept in this morning then spent the entire day in front of Netflix watching an animated movie, a comedy special, and two documentaries. Simultaneously, I factory reset my phone because the battery has been draining faster than normal lately and I thought that might help. (I’m not sure it did.) Y’all, it took multiple attempts to properly re-sync my contacts because–technology–and a total of three hours to get all my applications re-downloaded and logged into.
It was highly stressful, everything temporarily out-of-place.
I guess today is technology day, since this evening I updated the operating system on my laptop. While that was installing, I went for a run to make myself feel better about my decisions at the taco truck last night, and when I got back about an hour later, the software was installed, but my laptop suddenly shut off while I was getting ready to blog. I turned it back on, but then the keyboard lights were off and the internal fan was blowing, blowing, blowing. (It’s normally not.) Well, shit, I thought. Anyway, after some Googling, I did a reset and a restart, and now things are working fine, except–did I mention?–my power cord has a short in it.
I’ve been so frustrated today–my day of rest!–because of the issues with my laptop and phone battery, the fact that they won’t charge or won’t hold a charge. Maybe I’m hypersensitive to these power issues because my personal energy levels have been so unpredictable lately. Most days it feels as if I’ve been unplugged in one way or another, all my systems operating on reserves that are being rapidly depleted. (Going down, going down!) I want to plug myself back in, of course, which is part of the reason I’m trying to rest more, but I think my recharging strategy should also include paying attention to those things that drain me. For example, today before the last documentary finished, I thought, That’s enough television, but went ahead and watched the rest of the program. Why? (Because I like to check things off my to-do list.) But then tonight on my run I stopped jogging when I got tired and simply walked the rest of the way home. So I don’t always force myself when I’m tired–I do have moments of grace. Ultimately, I think that’s what my body is needing when it’s feeling drained–compassion, not compulsion.
Quotes from CoCo (Marcus)
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If you want to become who you were meant to be, it's absolutely necessary to shed your old skin. Sure it might be sad to say goodbye--to your old phone, to your old beliefs, anything that helped get you this far--but you've got to let go in order to make room for something new.
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