[Photo credit: Joel Culberson]

This afternoon I took a shower and put on a pair of stretchy jeans. I normally wouldn’t brag about such things, but after injuring my knee this last weekend, both showering and dressing myself have become activities worthy of praise. (Way to go, Marcus!) No kidding, it’s hard enough to squeeze myself into my jeans standing up, let alone lying on the ground while trying to hold my left leg completely still. And you should have seen me trying to put on my dress shoes; I had to get my dad involved. “Don’t you have a shoe horn?!” he said.

“No I don’t have shoe horn; I’m not eighty!”

Anyway, Dad ended up slipping my shoes on with a spoon he found–I assume–in our dishwasher. Talk about being creative AND helpful. That being said, I know my dependence is wearing on both me and my parents. After I got dressed and got into my car to run errands in Fort Smith, I honked my horn because I remembered I’d forgotten to brush my teeth and was hoping Dad could bring me my toothbrush–and toothpaste–and maybe a glass of water. (Getting out of car and crutching my way to bathroom would have taken forever.) Anyway, when Dad came into the garage and I told him what as going on, he said, “Oh no you didn’t forget to brush your teeth–your teeth are just fine–they’re very pretty.”

But then he went inside and brought me my toothbrush and toothpaste, and Mom brought the glass of water. What a team!

This afternoon my friend Bonnie and I went to four different stores in search of an outfit for me to wear for the holiday production I’m in at the Fort Smith Little Theater this week, since I decided I felt “frumpy” in the elf costume the theater gave me a couple days ago. Y’all, this is not an experience I care to repeat on crutches ever again–getting in and out of the car, going from store to store, perusing up and down the aisles. Seriously, I’m ready for this ordeal to be over. Ugh. My parents reminded me that when my sister hurt her knee and had to have surgery (and go through physical rehab), they lived with and helped her out for nine weeks. Nine weeks! I’m trying to let that possibility sink in. “Just be grateful you don’t have two little kids running around,” Mom said.

“Yes, that would be quite the challenge,” I replied. “Thank you for making me gay.”

At our third stop, Bonnie and I found an ugly Christmas sweater for me, and at our fourth stop, we found red and silver tinsel (and other supplies) for decorating my crutches. This was Bonnie’s idea, to make my crutches part of my holiday costume. “They can be your candy CANES,” Bonnie said. Talk about clever. Anyway, then we went back to Bonnie’s house, and I changed shirts (and put on a holiday hat that Bonnie had), then Bonnie and I wrapped my crutches in tinsel and added a stocking to one crutch and a stuffed elf to the other. Check out the finished products. (I’m in love.)

As I’m only in two skits for the show, I spent most of my time at the theater tonight on a couch in the green room with my leg propped up. While waiting for my first skit, I got a text message from a friend who’d heard about my dance injury, and he suggested a new nickname for me–GRACE. Isn’t that perfect? Anyway, tonight’s show was a dress rehearsal, and it went well. Actually, our musical improv group did as well as ever. Maybe a few dozen people were there as a test audience, and it really made the biggest difference, having that added bit of pressure.

[Photo credit: Joel Culberson]

Now it’s almost midnight, and I’m in the living room with Mom and Dad. Earlier they made me dinner, helped me get my shoes off, and brought me some ice packs. Also, they switched out my tinsel-clad crutches for a walker so I don’t spread little strips of glitter all over the house. A walker! Now I really feel like an old person. (I should probably just break down and buy that shoehorn.)

So this is my reality. This is my holiday season. Mostly likely, this is my new year. And whereas I hate having lost my normal mobility, I’ve realized that I’ve taken “two working knees” for granted my entire life. Watching people run around the shops and the theater tonight, I thought, You probably have no idea how good you’ve got it. Or maybe they do. One of my friends at the theater tonight said she’s been on crutches A NUMBER of times. For me, I’m reminded how persistent the human spirit is, since it’s willing to crawl, scoot, crutch, or even walker around in order to get from here to there. To buy an ugly Christmas sweater! I guess we all do what we must in order to keep moving forward. Hopefully we do so with grace.