This afternoon I painted for two hours, came home and took a shower, and went to the chiropractor. Then I met with a friend for whom I’ll be house sitting soon, bought a piece of carpet for my parents’ garage (for when our cars leak), went to Kinko’s to get a quote for a print job, and went the library to download and test a some new software on my computer. Then, because the software didn’t work because the library is picky about what you can do on their network, I went to a coffee shop to test the software. Much to my delight, it worked there.

Phew.

This evening I’ve been putting off writing the blog. Not because there’s something I need to say but don’t want to, but simply because I don’t want to say anything–period. I’d rather curl up with a book and go to bed. Lately I’ve been go-go-going a lot and not really taking a break. Even on my days off, I find things to do. I mean, there’s always a lawn that needs to be mowed, something that needs to be fixed, or a potential creative project to start.

Somebody make me take a nap.

I know, that’s my job.

This evening I found myself frustrated first because, well, money, and second because I was having such a difficult time getting that software to download and work. You know, life never happens as fast as you want it to. Thankfully, I drove around with my windows down (something I love to do), listened to some of my favorite music, and told myself a few stories and felt better.

What kind of stories did you tell yourself, Marcus?

I’m glad you asked.

This morning my mom was watching Dr. Oz, and I overheard a part when the good doctor was interviewing a professional taste tester. “Do you have more taste buds that most people?” he asked. “No,” she said, “I have the same taste buds that everyone else has. What I do have more of is words. I have more words to DESCRIBE what I’m tasting and feeling.”

I’ve been thinking about this all day. Caroline Myss says that our words shape our reality. For example, how much power have you given the word fat? It’s just a three-letter word, but my guess is it controls you. Now think of how you frame the inconveniences or atrocities in your life. When you think of them or describe them to someone else, do you use words like awful and unfair, or phrases like no big deal or learning experience? Because, guaranteed, how you frame your experiences will determine whether or not they cause you needless suffering.

This is what I mean by the stories I told myself this evening. When I started thinking and getting upset about money (yesterday I had some expensive work done on my car, Tom Collins), rather than wallowing I started thinking of all the blessings in my life–the free books I get to read at the library, the job opportunities that have come my way lately, the fact that I SAVED nearly two hundred dollars on the repair work because I used a private mechanic instead of a garage. When I got frustrated about the software installation, I thought, I’d like this to work as soon as possible, but there’s absolutely no deadline involved here. I have all the time in the world to figure this out. To boil this last example down, you could say at first I thought I HAD to finish, then I thought I COULD finish.

This shift in words–in perspective–changed everything.

Recently I got together with a friend who is a dynamo when it comes to writing and singing music. Like, I’d kill for their specific talent. Well, during the course of our get-together, they said they didn’t think of themselves as a REAL musician because they couldn’t play an instrument (very well). Immediately I said, “Oh, that’s not true.” Now, for ME that’s not true, but obviously for THEM, it is. Like, if they don’t ever change their mind about it, they could go the rest of their life never fully recognizing and basking in the glory of their wonderful talent, never enjoying the label of musician. I mean, I get it. My therapist has been telling me for years that I’m fabulous at this and wonderful at that, and I’m like, Eh, I’m okay.

Well, words matter. There’s a HUGE DIFFERENCE between okay and fabulous.

Getting back to the taste tester lady, I don’t know that she HAS more words than most of us do, she’s simply learned how to use them properly, to know what words go with what flavors and textures. This, I think, is what most of us need to learn to do–to use our words properly, to use them to empower ourselves rather than depower ourselves. This is where a good therapist or self-help book can come in handy. They can introduce a new story, a new perspective. They can say, “Sweetheart, take another look. What you’re telling yourself about yourself or this situation isn’t true.” Then you can reconsider, and if you wish, rewrite your story. (You’re that powerful.) This is how you change your perspective. This is how you change your reality.