This afternoon after a family friend heard that I’d severed my ACL while performing a dance stunt, the first words out of their mouth were, “You can’t do what you used to do.” Not words of sympathy or compassion, but rather, “You’re old and brittle.”

My response: “Shut up.”

I’m making a big deal out of this (and you can’t stop me) because I’ve gotten this reaction from quite a number of people. I tell them the facts (I hurt myself), and they go straight for the jugular. “Well, you’re not getting any younger.” First of all, no shit, asshole. NO ONE IS GETTING ANY YOUNGER. NO ONE HAS EVER GOTTEN ANY YOUNGER IN THE HISTORY OF THE ENTIRE WORLD! Second of all, there was an eight-year-old in my surgeon’s office the day that I was there who’d torn his ACL too, so clearly injuring yourself isn’t directly related to age. That is, all of us are human, breakable, and generally (and by that I mean completely) subject to the laws of physics. Young people hurt themselves. Old people hurt themselves. Is age A FACTOR in whether or not a person is likely to hurt themselves? Of course. But so is physical build, experience, and–when dancing–the slickness of one’s shoes and the floor one is dancing on.

Breathe, Marcus.

My main beef here isn’t whether or not anyone thinks I’m old and frail. Fuck that. People can think what they want. My beef is that WORDS MATTER, and the way you talk to yourself and others matters a lot. This afternoon my friend Bonnie gave me a super-cool deck of positive affirmation cards called AFFIRMATORS! that are a fabulous spoof on positive affirmation cards. (They have a picture of a rabbit riding a unicorn on the front.) Still, the ones I’ve read so far communicate excellent points in humorous ways. Anyway, the first card I pulled out of the deck was Positive Thinking. I’m including a picture of it below (credit to: http://knockknockstuff.com), but the basic point is this–your mind is a garden, and the thoughts you water, tend to, and practice will take root, grow, and take over–so make sure they’re good ones.

When I was in college, I attended a leadership conference in Hot Springs, and the speaker told everyone in the audience to stand up, so we did. Then he told everyone to turn around, so we did. Then he told everyone to jump up and down and basically make asses out of ourselves, so we did. Now, why on God’s green earth would we do this? The speaker said it was because of something called The Power of the Podium. That is, as audience members, we assign a certain authority to someone behind a lectern and will therefore do stupid shit they ask us to do. In terms of the leadership conference, the speaker’s point was–if you’re given the chance to speak to others, make sure your message has a meaning and that you’re not wasting everyone’s damn time.

My point is that you don’t have to be standing in front of an auditorium in order for people to be paying attention to you. Indeed, if your mouth is moving, chances are pretty good that someone is listening to you. And the question I’m proposing is, “What would happen if the person you’re speaking to actually believed you?” Specifically, what if I believed the person this afternoon who was arguing for my limitations rather than my abilities? What if I spent the next year watering the thought, I can’t do what I used to do, versus, My body is strong and capable of great things. Because they could have just as easily said that. They could have said, “This may slow you down for a while, but I trust you’ll be back in the saddle in no time.”

During medieval times, if someone wanted to bless someone, this is how they’d do it. With their words. They’d say, “May the sun rise up to meet you. May your children’s children be healthy and prosperous. May your wife’s breasts be larger than your bank account.” Whatever. Conversely, if someone wanted to curse someone else, they’d say, “A pox upon your house. May a fever seize you. May all your descendants be hanged.” Maybe this sounds silly, but the idea is that the human mind has a tendency to ruminate on and “make true” those thoughts that are planted in it, especially those thoughts that are charged with emotion (like excitement or fear). In this manner, any blessing or curse can easily become a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Granted, in today’s society, we often don’t think of ourselves as blessing or cursing each other, but that doesn’t mean we don’t do it. For example, my therapist is constantly telling me that I’ll be wildly successful as a writer one day. That’s a blessing. On the other hand, once when I told a friend that I wanted to be a writer, they glibly referred to my dream and the reason I feel like I’ve been put on this earth as “a hobby.” Their implication was clear: “You can’t make a legitimate living at this.” That’s a curse. Subtle, perhaps, but a curse nonetheless.

I suppose a lot could be said about why we humans drag each other down. My friend Justin says that if you’ve settled for less in your life, you’ll rarely celebrate someone else who’s reaching for more. Misery loves company or whatever. Personally, I think that we can’t truly empower someone else until we have first empowered ourselves, and that’s a tough thing to do. Still, telling someone, “You’re old and feeble,” “Things will never get better,” or, “That’ll never happen” is shitty any way you slice it. Who died and made you God? What else can you tell me while your crystal ball is out? This is a large and marvelous universe. How do YOU KNOW what will happen?

Regardless of how much I rant, I know I can’t control what comes out of another person’s mouth. I’m realizing, however, that I can control what I listen to, put up with, and let take hold in the garden of my mind. More than hoping to change anyone else’s opinion about anything, that’s what I’m wanting to do here–get rid of the weeds that have been long-planted in my consciousness. Because yes, I’m thirty-eight, but thirty-eight is not old, at least not old as in, “It’s time to trade in your dancing shoes for a stamp collection.” Old as in, “There are hairs growing out of my ears,” sure. But if you’re here to tell me that simply because I’m thirty-eight and had a rough year that things are downhill from here, I’m here to tell you to kindly fuck off. People of all ages have rough years, and the human spirit is capable of overcoming the greatest of obstacles. So this is my blessing to myself and everyone else who will take it in; this is the thought-seed I’m hoping to water, tend to, and practice–

Your spirit is ageless, your body is stronger than you know, and your fate is to rise again.