Yesterday when I rinsed out my sinuses, something new came out–a clear blob, about the size of a dime, with the consistency of a jellyfish. That’s peculiar, I thought. A quick Google search revealed that it may have been–possibly–something called biofilm, a protective coating sometimes formed by harmful bacteria that makes getting rid of them difficult. A bacterial condom, if you will. In my nose. The body is such a mystery. Anyway, whatever that thing was, I’m glad it’s not inside me anymore. This is how my grandpa used to feel about farts. “More room on the outside than there is on the inside,” he would say.

Last night I went to bed at two in the morning but lay awake for over four hours, part of the time watching Netflix, but mostly wondering why I wasn’t tired. Maybe I’m feeling better, I thought. Maybe I’m feeling worse. Finally, I decided it was because I forgot to take Benadryl, something I’ve been using lately to help with allergies, but only at night because it makes me drowsy. I hope I’m not becoming addicted, I thought. But then I got out of bed, tossed back a couple pink antihistamines, and was out before I knew it–until two this afternoon.

Today I ran some errands and ended up buying two new herbal teas. This is something I’ve been doing lately, trying different teas to hopefully boost my immune system, decrease my allergies, and heal my sinuses. I’ve inadvertently started a collection. I’m one of those people. (Shit.) So far, I’m not sure the teas are making a difference, but at least they taste nice enough and have fewer calories than alcohol. That being said, they are also significantly more boring, by comparison. I mean, when was the last time a warm cup of dandelion tea got anyone laid? (Tequila makes my clothes fall off, Mom.)

Well, actually scotch, but I digress.

Earlier this week I finished the two-thousand-piece puzzle my family started working on over the holidays. Considering that my nephews were turning the house upside down and the fact that my sister found a couple pieces in the pockets of my mom’s housecoat, I kept thinking I’d get to the end of the puzzle and find pieces missing. But that wasn’t the case. All the pieces were there. Everything came together. (Miracles never cease.)

Isn’t it gorgeous?

Last night while meditating I decided to start thinking of my body as strong, even when I don’t feel well. My logic for this is that even though I’ve been having significant allergy and sinus issues these last few months, there are hundreds of problems I don’t have. Like, I don’t have boils, leprosy, or diverticulitis, to name a few examples. Whenever I get a cut, my body heals it. Likewise, it fights off numerous infections and neutralizes various threats every day, largely without my help. So I’ve got to assume it’s doing the best it can, that eventually we’ll get things figured out.

With this new attitude in mind, I’ve been more optimistic today. Next week I’m seeing a new medical doctor, and I plan to look further into alternative therapies, things like acupuncture. I’m actually excited about finding an answer, getting myself back in tip-top shape. My retired psychologist friend Craig says that every piece of a puzzle is important, that there are no unimportant pieces. I guess for a while it’s felt like some of my pieces were missing, like I’m an incomplete puzzle. But I’m starting to believe that all the pieces for healing really are here, it’s just a matter of putting them together in the right order and of being patient, trusting that all things are worked out in their own time.