These Hundreds of Thousands of Words (Blog #1094)

1. Abundance

Ugh. Does this have to be the first one? This has been a toughy for me, since, as a result of my traumas, I grew up believing that if you love something, just wait, it’ll be taken away from you. And yet my therapist, who has a real hard on for abundance, has shoved it down my throat. Yes, things leave, but other things come around. Thankfully, I have made progress. For one thing, money isn’t terrifying to me anymore. Even though I don’t have much of it. Although now I imagine if I did I wouldn’t be scared of it. It’s just paper. The most important thing being, however, that I really do believe deep down that I’ve been given an abundance of talent, love, help, knowledge, wisdom, and resources (both internal and external) with which to make my way through life. Creatively, I’ve been given an abundance of ideas. This is what counts. I know it’s rough when your bank account is strapped, but don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

2. Affirmations

A lot of self-help books are huge on affirmations, looking in the mirror and saying, “I’m beautiful, rich, and forgiving.” Or whatever. And whereas I’ve tried this shit more times than I care to admit, it hasn’t been what’s worked for me. Instead, the affirmations that have turned my life around, rather than being forced into me, have come out of me. That’s what this blog has been about. Sweetheart, be patient. I’m here for you. So if you like the idea of affirmations, go for it. But don’t open a book to find them. Open your heart.

3. Archetypes and Personalities

More and more I see the world through the lenses of “we’re all different” and “we’re all the same.” And whereas I don’t subscribe to one particular personality system, it’s helped me to be able to label people with archetypes (diva, drama queen, addict, pimp), since it allows me to get impersonal about their behavior. Or even mine. (Of course I’m worried about my outfit; I’m an artist!) Additionally, the more personality systems I study, the more I realize that every archetype and personality type is not only neutral (although it can be animated positively or negatively), but also necessary. God knows we don’t need everyone to an anal-retentive control freak. But God also knows the world would be a much sloppier place without those of us who are. (Wash your damn hands.)

4. Authenticity

This is a buzz word these days, and one my therapist actually dislikes because it’s so “hip.” To me it equates to being honest, even and especially if that honesty looks like anger, sadness, or confusion. You know, the emotions we hide behind our masks. Alas, it doesn’t seem to be something we can achieve every minute of every day (certain niceties are required in a polite society), but it is something we can strive toward. Being real. Being ourselves. My only other thought about it is that I’ve often been as surprised as anyone else when I’ve been able to be assertive or–here’s another word my therapist hates–vulnerable. Like when I cry in public or admit my faults (which, I agree with my therapist, isn’t being vulnerable, it’s being honest). Meaning we often don’t know what our authentic selves look like until they reveal themselves to us.

5. Balance

Is required and looks different for everyone. How do you know you’re out of balance in any area of your life? Your body will tell you. Learn to listen to its subtle and not-so-subtle messages. Additionally, pay attention to your relationships. If they’re full of drama, contention, or anything but an underlying peace, something is out of whack. Chances are you’ll never be able to hold the center point forever, so just keep your eyes on the middle. The rest will take care of itself.

6. Boundaries

My therapist calls boundaries the Holy Grail of personal growth. And whereas I used to think I had them, I realized I didn’t. Pro tip: if you can’t say no or if you tell the most personal details of your life to complete strangers (or vice versa), you don’t either. So get some. Learn to not only say no, but hell no. Figure out what you’re worth and don’t settle for less. Get in touch with your soul, do whatever it says, and never, under any circumstances, sell it. For one thing, it’s not yours to sell. For another, you’ll always regret it. How do you do these things? By learning to say no, hell no. And don’t worry if you “mess up.” Life will, without a doubt, give you another opportunity to excel. As with all things, having good boundaries is a process.

7. Coco’s Favorites

These blogs are my personal favorites. Many are already tagged as such, but I’ll be adding others as I work my way through reading all my old posts.

8. Creativity

People say they’re not creative, but I’m convinced we all are, even if it’s just in the way we make up a story about how we’re not creative, or what someone did that ruined our lives, or how awful things are (when they’re really not). Of course, creativity is better expressed through writing, dancing, knitting, planting, decorating, or whatever, and I’m certain our souls MUST, somehow, expand themselves through creating. So first stop and notice WHAT you’re creating (dinner, drama, dissent), then think about what you’d LIKE to be creating (an encouraging environment, a business, a hilarious blog). Then CHOOSE something different.

9. Dancing

Is good for a hundred reasons. Do it. Even if you don’t like it, consider that you were made to move. Some way, somehow. Your very heart BEATS. Tune into the rhythm of your life. If you ARE willing to give dancing a try, remember what my mentor Maggie tells her students. “Let dancing love you.” If not dancing, then let something, someone. Please, open your heart.

10. Dream Interpretation

I wish I were a master at this or had some of the experiences the people who write all those books about dreams do. Lucid dreaming, predicting the future, and whatnot. I don’t know, my therapist says I have the “most auspicious dreams,” so maybe it’s just easy to think someone else’s life is better or more fabulous than yours. Regardless, I do believe our subconscious/inner wisdom speaks to us a thousand different ways. Through dreams, synchronicities, hunches, bodily sensations, feelings, emotions, and even thoughts. So it’s whatever floats your boat, whatever you’re willing to listen to. Just know that it’s not all as random as it seems. Know that you can trust yourself. You’re wiser than you realize.

11. Emotions

Are not something you primarily think about. They’re something you primarily feel. Also, I hate to break it to you, they’re not something that go away when you shove them down. Like, they just hang out in the shadows. In your shadow. And whereas I wish I had a surefire way for coaxing them out, I’ve learned they come up when they’re ready. The best thing we can do is to listen. Be curious. Love, or at least make space for, whatever arises. Including frustration, anger, grief, sadness, and anything else that gives you snot bubbles. Because that’s your inner wisdom talking. For example, anger often means “get some damn boundaries.” (See above.)

12. Encouragement

Whatever you’re going through, I promise you’re not alone. Yes, your situation is unique to you and is your cross to bear, but it’s not the first time it’s ever happened. In Alcoholics Anonymous they say, “You’re only as sick as you are isolated.” Meaning that a burden is automatically lifted when you stop trying to carry it yourself. So please know that people love you and are rooting for you. Granted, they don’t always know what to say, but I guarantee there are people who would take a bullet for you in a heartbeat. People who will cry at your funeral and feel that something important, something they liked, is missing from their lives when you’re gone.

13. Facebook Live

This is where I’ve put the few live videos I’ve done and where I’ve read, out loud, other stories I’ve written. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll do at least one more when this is over.

14. Gratitude

Is often something those self-help books try to force. Don’t worry, be happy. Alas, I’ve found that gratitude, like an affirmation, works best when it springs naturally from the heart. A humbling voice, it says, “Sweetheart, you have everything you could ever need and more.” What’s more, I’m convinced this voice is always there, available even when we are most down. It says, “Life sucks, but we’ve been given this breath, and with this breath we will make it to our next. Or make it home.” So again, listen to your heart. (Not your head.)

15. Growing Up

Involves letting go of the need to blame, being your own parent most of the time, taking responsibility for your life and choices, and sucks. But is absolutely necessary. Also, it’s natural. Stop fighting it.

16. Hope

As stated in The Shawshank Redemption, “is a good thing, maybe the best of things.” So please, please, please allow as much room as is humanly or even divinely possible that even your most challenging circumstance can turn around for the better. On a dime if heaven so sees fit. Along these lines, pray for miracles and expect them to show up.

17. Improv Comedy

Is worth trying or at least taking note of. Because, like life, it requires that you think on your feet, play well with others, and not look back. Audiences may not be forgiving, but improv teaches you to be. So what if the show didn’t go well? It’s over. (Everything in your life is over.) Why is this a good thing? Because now we can play another game.

18. Letting Go

Is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. Because we like what we like and we want it last. Our relationships, our stuff, our identities, our stories and judgments about ourselves and others. Our blogs. But nothing lasts. We don’t get to keep a thing. So work on enjoying whatever it is while it’s here, then letting it go. The way the sun sets, the way a storm ceases. With grace.

19. Myths and Fairy Tales

Aren’t just cute little stories. Rather, within them are embedded the mysteries of life, our personalities, and our struggles. Best thing I ever heard on this topic was that your three favorite movies reveal the path your life is on, and I believe this more and more. Recently through EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) I realized one of my favorite movie characters (for almost twenty years now) was not only hung up on integrity (like I am) but was also embarrassed by his station in life (like I used to be). The idea being that you’re drawn to these characters and their stories for a reason. Your inner wisdom is nudging you forward, giving you a template for what’s possible. Be willing to take the trip.

20. Patience

Is almost harder than letting go. But is one of the most useful traits you could ever hope to develop. Because although the universe is capable of turning on a dime, it rarely does. What’s more, it rarely does what you want it to, when you want it to. Pro tip: the less you insist on having everything your way, the more patient you’ll be. So, in the words of Nancy Byrd Turner, “learn to labor and to wait.” Give yourself the gift of time. To grow. To heal. Nature does not proceed in leaps, and neither do we.

21. Perspective

If I could give everyone one gift, it would be the gift of perspective, the gift of being able to perceive whatever it is thats bothering you (including yourself) in a different way. Alas, since I can’t, go see a therapist. This is what they get paid for. But seriously, what if you could put on a pair of mystical glasses that allowed you to see everything in your life, even the rotten stuff, as heaven’s gift to you? What if you could turn your viewpoint upside down and really see that there’s nothing in your life by accident and that–if it’s there–it’s there for a reason? To challenge you, to grow you, to change you, and maybe even the world, for the better? What if you could look at the mountain you’re facing and, rather than asking God to remove it, absolutely know you were meant to climb it? And then put your boots on. This is my encouragement. Pick up a book, go to church, or bang your head against the wall, not until your circumstances shift, but until your perspective does. Because that’s when you will.

22. Relationships

Seems to be the medium through which everything happens. The bullshit, the learning, and the healing. So look alive. Like or not, no one is alone. We’re all in this together.

23. Self-Acceptance

Means coming to love yourself warts and all, not putting up such a damn front, and being gentle with yourself and others. It means accepting every part of you–even the ugly, angry, and sad parts. The weird thing? The more you accept yourself exactly as you are, the more you accept others and the world exactly as they are. And vice versa. This is why Jesus said don’t judge. Because that which you hold against someone else, sooner or later, you’ll hold against yourself. But as you accept That Which Is Unacceptable in yourself or another, That Which Is Unacceptable becomes your teacher. All parts come bearing gifts. Hold out your hands.

24. Spiritual Practice

Looks different for everyone but is something I’m convinced we all long for and participate in somehow. Maybe one person does it in the kitchen, the way they lovingly prepare the perfect meal to feed their family. Maybe another does it in a chapel. I grew up as a Christian. Last night I prayed the rosary. Now I don’t know what to call myself. More and more, the labels are unimportant. It’s the experience I’m after, the inner knowing that I’m part of something bigger than myself. The conviction that every time I take a breath, God breathes with me. I’m after what the mystics know, the truth that every life, every rock, and every molecule is both sacred and holy.

25. The Physical Body

This could be an entire series of posts. And has been. Suffice it to say that every experience we have on this planet is granted to us through our physical organism. And whereas my personal temptation has been to ignore my body’s signals (information, guidance, wisdom) or be mad it at for hurting or being sick (not good enough), I’ve learned that it is the master and I am its pupil. I am in its classroom, and I must play by its rules. So more and more I’m learning to love, honor, and take care of my body, this gift I’ve been given. Granted, it’s easy to compare yourself to others and find fault with your body, but then you miss The Mystery. Then you miss the wonder that is you.

26. Therapy and Healing

Is actually a thing. And whereas I could go on and on about different therapies and modalities I’ve tried and succeeded with, really, it all started the day I picked up the phone and called my therapist. One little choice that was really a big choice. “I think I need help,” I said. Thankfully, my therapist was a good fit for me, and her office became a safe place, a sacred place, where I could begin to put myself back together. And whereas I’ve done a lot of work on my own, I think this is a huge part of the process. Having a witness. Not someone that does the work for you, but someone who sees you and believes in you. Maybe more than you do. Someone who is willing to stick with you through it all. Another big part being what my therapist told me that first session. “For this hour we’re going to do two things: sit in truth and not judge ourselves.” So whatever path you choose, I suggest taking these two gems with you. The truth (it will set you free) and non-judgment. I promise, you’ll get further faster if you do.

27. Transformation

Is not only possible, but necessary. Just like a caterpillar can’t stay a caterpillar forever, we as humans can’t stay our old selves forever. Indeed, we’ve been designed to grow, change, transform, evolve. To forget that which is behind and press forward toward the mark. To be burned in the ashes and rise again. To die on the cross and ascend three days (or three years) later. This is written in our stories, and this is written in our cells. So just find a way to accept it. Then get on with the process. Set your foot upon The Path. Entertain the idea that you are more (insert positive adjective here) than you ever thought possible.

28. Travel Writing

Hasn’t been a huge part of my journey or this blog but is still worth mentioning. One lesson from traveling being that, just like that, the universe can take you on a trip, put someone on your path, or put you on someone else’s. Just like that, you can be in a whole new world. With a whole new perspective. JRR Tolkein said, “Still round the corner there may wait, a new road or secret gate.” Believe in this magic. Trust that as one journey ends, another is beginning.

29. Writing

Isn’t for everyone, but is for everyone. At least, words are for everyone. Personally, these words, these hundreds of thousands of words, have changed my life. Once a writer friend pointed out that I was literally writing into existence the life I wanted to live. Sweetheart, hang on for one more day. Things will get better. Lately I’ve been hashtagging all my posts #healing. And whereas I’ve thought of these statements and labels as simply my way of hoping or just description, well, in the beginning was the word. Seriously. Think of the world you create when you say something is “possible” versus the world you create when you say something is “impossible.” Notice how your thoughts, feelings, emotions, attitude, and actions change depending on which world you decide to inhabit. Crazy, I know. And that’s just one little word. Now, have the words I’ve written these last three years MADE my life change? I could never prove that. But my life has changed, and surely it’s at least partly due to the fact that at some point I started telling myself a different story. A story I wanted to hear. One of healing, forgiveness, self-acceptance, hope, transformation, and transcendence. A story in which I was the hero and there was a happy ending.

And surely anyone can do this.

Quotes from CoCo (Marcus)

"It's never a minor thing to take better care of yourself."

On Starting to Believe (Blog #755)

1. On families

Recently my mom came into my room while I was lying on my bed, like I am now. “Wow,” she said. “You look so much like my dad.” (Grandpa died nearly twenty years ago.) Then she just stood there for a minute, taking it in, I guess. And whereas it was slightly weird for me in the moment to be compared to someone else, later I felt really proud. Not that he didn’t have his problems, but Grandpa was a good man, so I’m glad to look like him. I know my mom loved him a lot. Anyway, it’s cool to think about how our ancestors not only give us life but are also still with us in some way, how they leave their mark, both physically and emotionally. More and more, I’m grateful for this unseen connection.

2. On being famous

Yesterday I bought a copy of the spring issue of Bass Angler Magazine. This is something I never thought I’d do ever–buy a fishing magazine–but I did because get this shit. Remember last fall when I traveled to the Upper Cumberland region of Tennessee for a travel writing job? Well, my friend and fellow journalist Jill was there for the same reason, and she ended up writing an article for Bass Angler about the area and places a person could go fishing–and used three photos with me in them!

So I’m pretty much famous now.

3. On fine tuning

Last night and this morning I made more progress on the puzzle I’ve been working on. Last night one of the sections I worked on was all water–just different shades of blue and green. At first I thought, I’ll never get this. All the pieces look the same. But then as I took a closer look, I could distinguish several differences in the shading and shadows. Today after I took the below picture I noticed one of the pieces I’d connected didn’t go where I put it. I thought, Wait a damn minute. You don’t belong there.

This made me think of writing, the way once I get a general idea of what’s going on with a piece I’m working on, then I can tweak and fine tune it. Likewise, it made me think of my relationships and how I interact in the world. This afternoon I read a book that said we’re allowed to play around with our emotions and how we respond to and act on them. So often we get stuck in patterns of behavior–the big picture–we think, this is who I am–but it’s not like we’re set in stone. We can take a closer look at thing, maybe see something we didn’t see before. We can say, No wait, this doesn’t fit here, in this situation.

That is to say, we can change.

4. On bodies

Speaking of being set in stone, today I listened to an interview with David Berceli about how the body responds to trauma. I’ve mentioned David’s work before, here. In today’s interview, David said that our bodies are designed to survive, and that if we’re somehow threatened and can’t fight or flee, we’ll otherwise freeze. That is, our bodies will physically contract, as if into a ball. This applies whether someone throws a rock at us or we’re in a car accident. The good news is that this is how our bodies shield us from harm. The bad news is that sometimes they stay contracted even after a particular threat or trauma is over. Think of any tight muscles you may have in your hips or neck. It’s not that your body can’t relax, it’s just that it hasn’t gotten the message that it’s okay to yet.

One of my takeaways from this interview is that our bodies are always trying to protect us. So often I get frustrated with my tight hips and shoulders, but it helps to think that perhaps they’re tight because my body is trying to help me rather than hurt me. At least at one time, this was the best my body could do. And this is a message I keep getting over and over again, that our bodies are on our side. And whereas I’ve been slow to come around to this idea–it’s much easier to think that my body is the exception to the rule–I’m starting to believe it, that not only is my body on my side, but that it’s also smart enough to heal itself, to heal us.

Quotes from CoCo (Marcus)

Nothing was made to last forever.

On Today and Becoming Famous (Sort of) (Blog #593)

1. I woke up

Last night I passed out way early but only slept for a couple hours. Then I tossed and turned for a couple hours, then I finally fell back asleep. Then when my bladder woke me up this morning/afternoon, I was in a fog, which I’ve been in ever since. My hips hurt, and–I know this sounds like something an old person would say, but–it’s probably because the weather’s changing. Seriously, I do not thrive when it’s cold outside. Still, as my dad says, “Any day above ground is a good day.”

2. I remembered how much I’ve forgotten

This afternoon I worked more on my photo-sorting project. I’m getting close to done. A few more days like today, and I should have it licked. Anyway, nothing profound came up today, at least nothing that hasn’t come up before. But here’s a photo of me and my friend DeAnna, who taught me how to dance. (She’s the responsible party.) I know it was taken in Biloxi, MS, but I can’t for the life of me remember when. Well wait, I think it was sometime around (either just before or after) Hurricane Katrina, which was in 2005. So that’s a clue. I swear, trying to remember my life is like trying to solve a murder mystery.

3. I faced my fears

For over a year I’ve been meaning to add a “donate” page to the website, but have been putting it off, putting it off because it brings up a lot of issues for me. (Fear of money, fear of rejection, fear of acceptance.) But my therapist and I set a goal to have it done by next week (ish), so tonight I “drafted” the page. And whereas I was initially terrified to sit down and “write something, write anything,” it went fine and wasn’t nearly as terrifying as I imagined it would be. I mean, it was just putting my honest thoughts on the page, and that’s something I do every day. Plus, my therapist and I have done a lot of digging around WHY this is such a big damn deal for me, and as I heard Shakti Gawain* say tonight (and I’m paraphrasing), “When we really look at the root of our fears and acknowledge them, they begin to dissolve.”

*Shakti Gawain was the author of Creative Visualization. She passed away this last week.

4. I became famous

Well, sort of. Recently while I was on a travel writing trip in Tennessee, my friend and fellow journalist Tom Wilmer interviewed me about swing dancing for his podcast, Journeys of Discovery, on NPR. Y’all, I was totally nervous. I’m so used to ASKING questions, not ANSWERING them. But Tom was super, like “this is no big deal,” and put me at ease. Later, Tom combined my interview with another interview he did about belly dancing, and the show went live tonight. Here’s a link to the entire thing. It’s about thirty minutes long, and my part starts at 13:55. Personally, I’m thrilled with how it turned out. Thanks, Tom!

Be sure to check out some of Tom’s other interviews. He gets to meet the coolest people and does a fabulous job sharing their stories with the world.

5. I cleaned my room

While listening to the podcast, I dusted my room. Woowho. Now I won’t have to do that again for another six months.

[One final shout-out to Tom for taking the picture of me at the top of tonight’s blog. It’s from our trip to Tennessee and was taken at Fall Creek Falls State Park.]

Quotes from CoCo (Marcus)

Boundaries are about starting small, enjoying initial successes, and practicing until you get your relationships like you want them.

The Fly in the Ointment (Blog #570)

Quotes from CoCo (Marcus)

"We all have inner wisdom. We all have true north."

Richer (Blog #569)

1 Comment October 20, 2018 CoCo

Today in a nutshell–

1. Standing Stone State Park

This morning our travel writing group toured Standing Stone State Park. Honest to God, I have no idea where it was–somewhere in Tennessee, obviously. Today I learned that since Tuesday our group has visited ten cities in six or seven different counties. We’ve been all over God’s green earth, bussed around in mini-vans like soccer-playing, ballet-dancing children of suburbanites. It’s been amazing, of course, but also disorienting. Every hour I’ve ask, “Where the hell are we now?” Anyway–back to Standing Stone. It was built by the Works Progress Administration in the 1930s, and I learned today that the WPA was a lot like the CCC (Civilian Conservation Corps), except the WPA employed older, married men, and the CCC did not.

2. Blues and Brews

Next we went to Blues and Brews Craft Beer Festival, an annual fundraiser for Cookeville’s PBS station. Y’all! They gave us VIP passes, which allowed us not only to listen to live blues music, but also to sample from eighty craft beers and eat all the tacos, nachos, and chicken wings we wanted. THIS WAS MY FAVORITE ACTIVITY THIS WEEK BY FAR, HANDS DOWN, AND WITHOUT A DOUBT (for sure). Seriously–free beer. What’s not to love? Marcus was one happy camper! And the best part? I worked the line with my friends Steve and Annie, and since Steve is HILARIOUS and Annie knows A LOT about beer, I was both entertained AND educated.

That’s Steve, Annie, and me in today’s featured photo.

Here’s a picture of Eric Matthews, my friends Tom and Jen, and me. Eric is a famous kayaker that several of our journalists met earlier this week and that I just met this afternoon. He gave me a pretzel. (Don’t be jealous.)

3. Edgar Evins State Park

After the Blues and Brews festival, we traveled to “yet another” state park–Edgar Evins. And here’s something fabulous–Edgar Evins is known for their lake–Center Hill Lake–which means we got to go out on a pontoon boat and toodle around the waters. Talk about a great way to relax after an afternoon of drinking! Plus, by this time the sun had come out (it was cloudy all morning), so the weather was just perfect.

Here’s a picture I took from the boat. I know, it’s ridiculous.

Here’s a picture of a sign I saw on the boat dock when we came back to land. It says, “Life doesn’t get any better than this!” When I first saw the sign I thought–You’re right, this is fabulous, and tomorrow I’ll be back in Fort Smith talking about Days of Our Lives with my parents; Lord, take me now!–I also thought, Well that’s not very optimistic.

I mean, who wants to believe, It’s all downhill from here?

4. Sunset Marina

Our final activity–both for today and for the trip–was dinner at Sunset Marina on Dale Hollow Lake, where Luke Bryan filmed his music video for “Sunrise, Sunburn, Sunset.” Ugh. It was so cool–the owner fed us dinner on a two-story house boat (that sleeps twelve and includes a hot tub on the roof of the second story), then we ate dessert and drank coffee while the boat (well, technically the driver) took us around the lake. Next to the beer thing, this was my other favorite activity, since it was so chill–we had a couple hours just to visit. There really is nothing like being around like-minded, creative people.

Here’s a picture of me and my friend Robin. We had the best conversation tonight. I’m SO thankful for her.

5. The hotel

After our farewell event, we were all dropped off at our respective hotels. Everyone flies out tomorrow. Anyway, when we got back, my friend Tom and I sat down to discuss swing dancing, writing, and life. Tom says “we went to different high schools together,” that we’re on the same conveyer belt (in other words, we have a lot in common), but he’s just farther down the line than I am. Again, what a delight to be around people who instantly accept you with open arms. From day one, Tom’s literally put his arm around my shoulders. “We’re brothers,” he says.

This is no small thing.

Now it’s 10:49, and as much as is possible, I’m already packed, since I have to be out of my room and ready to go at 5:00 in the morning. Yuck. But still, all I have to do is drag my ass to the car, let someone else do the driving, scoot through airport security, and make my way onto the plane. Well, two planes, but then I’ll be home. And whereas I’ll mostly like be worn to a frazzle and LOOK worse for the wear, I won’t be. Indeed, I’m already better for having been in Tennessee this week. I’m richer both in experiences and in relationships. My heart’s more open than it was before.

Quotes from CoCo (Marcus)

Life proceeds at its own pace.

In Stride (Blog #568)

1. Grinder House Coffee

This morning officially started at 6:45, at which time I checked out of the cabin I’ve been staying in since arriving in Tennessee and met the other journalists and staff for breakfast at Grinder House Coffee in Crossville. What a delightful way to start the day. It was probably the coolest coffee shop I’ve ever been in, and both the staff and the food (I had a lemon zest waffle) were delightful.

Delightful, I say.

2. Cane Creek Falls

Our entire group spent most of the morning and part of the afternoon at Fall Creek Falls State Park, Tennessee’s most-visited state park and home to several waterfalls. Y’all, it was gorgeous–like something you’d see out of a movie–literally. The 1994 version of The Jungle Book was filmed at this park! Check out the below picture of Cane Creek Falls, the waterfall Mowgli jumps into in this scene of the movie. It’s 85 feet from the top of the falls to the bottom. (Apparently King Kong and The Pink Power Ranger–or at least their stunt doubles–have also jumped off this cliff.)

Here’s a picture of me and three other journalists–my friends David and Kay (they’re married) and Annie–at the top of Cane Creek Falls.

Here’s a picture of me and my friend Tom at Cane Creek Cascades, which is just above Cane Creek Falls. A cascade is a waterfall that descends in steps or intervals; a plunge waterfall–like Cane Creek Falls–is one that descends unimpeded.

Notice the swinging bridge above the cascades in the above photo. This bridge was also used in The Jungle Book, although the movie-makers covered it in vines and leaves for the film. Here’s a selfie I took just before walking across the bridge. (I ran back. Then I read the sign that said, “No running.” Thankfully, neither of the two rangers who were guiding our tour gave me a hard time. Phew. That was close. I’m such a law-breaker.)

3. Fall Creek Falls

Next we saw Fall Creek Falls–the state park’s namesake–first from above, then from below. And whereas you can’t tell from the below photograph, Fall Creek Falls is over twice the height of Cane Creek Falls. It’s 256 feet high, the largest plunge waterfall east of the Mississippi. Check it out. (There’s not a lot of water because it’s dam-controlled, and the dam is currently being repaired.) Notice the orange patina on the rocks. Basically, it’s rust, the result of naturally occurring iron oxide mixing with an abundance of water. One more thing about the picture, for scale–the thee non-orange rocks to the left of the pool of water are people. There are actually five people in the photo.

After seeing Fall Creek Falls, we ate a sack lunch then checked out two overlooks in the park. Here’s a picture from the second overlook of what our guide told me is one of the most photographed trees in Tennessee and maybe America. I said, “I had no idea I was standing RIGHT NEXT to a celebrity.”

4. Ozone Falls

Next we went to Ozone Falls, which is another plunge waterfall (in a different park) and 110 feet high. Again, we got to see it from above and from below. Well, we had the option to see it from below, since it was a bit of a strenuous hike to get down there. And whereas I ripped up part of my left boot while navigating rocks to see this feat of nature, it was more than worth it.

It’s just a boot.

5. Black Mountain

Our last outdoor stop today was Black Mountain. And whereas the other places we visited today were all over God’s creation, this one was back in Crossville, one of the two towns we’ve been back and forth between all week and the one in which (until tonight) I’ve been staying. Anyway, check out this spectacular view.

Here’s a picture from Black Mountain that includes me and one of the other journalists, my friend Jill.

6. Forte’s

For dinner tonight we ate in Crossville at Forte’s Restaurant, an Italian place. Y’all, it was the perfect thing–wonderful food and delightful company. This is a such a terrific group. We’ve shared stories and jokes all day long. We’ve laughed, laughed, laughed. At least I have.

7. One other thing

Despite it being a wonderful day, I’m exhausted on every level, since today was a lot of being in the sun, a lot hiking mountains and valleys, a lot of go-go-go. And one other thing–just before dinner I took a stroll around downtown by myself, and some guy in a truck drove by and yelled, “Queer!” And I don’t know, it was–uh–unsettling, since it was the first time in my entire life that’s happened. Strange, I know–so many gays have much worse experiences way before they turn 38. Anyway, that was it. It could have been better, it could have been worse. They kept driving, and I went back to the restaurant. Still, I’m not sure where to put the experience other than in the “shit happens” drawer.

After dinner we drove an hour to Cookeville, where I checked into The Towneplace Suites, and the front desk employee said, “Two double queens?” and my first thought was, Is it THAT fucking obvious?! And NO, asshole! If you MUST know, I’m a SINGLE QUEEN. But then I realized he was talking about the beds in my room and said, “That’ll be fine, thank you.”

Now it’s 11:13, and I have a headache. I keep staring at the beds because I’d rather be there than here. Isn’t that so often the case, not wanting to be where we are? We hear a good joke or have a good day and want it to last, last, last. But this isn’t life. Sooner or later someone or something almost always comes along to spoil the fun. This morning at breakfast my friend Tom said, “A tourist comes to see what they expect to see; a traveler comes to see what he sees.” For me, this is another way of saying that we’re happier when we accept whatever comes along, when we take all of life–the good and the bad, the mountains and the valleys–in stride.

Quotes from CoCo (Marcus)

You can’t stuff down the truth—it always comes up.

What We Don’t Know (Blog #567)

2:13 PM

We just left the third winery, where we were pressed for time because we apparently ran late at the last place. Anyway, this spot was Highland Manor Winery, Tennessee’s oldest winery.

“How old is old?” someone asked.

“38 years,” the owner said. “We started in 1980.”

So that felt good. (1980 is the year I started too.)

Anyway, check out Highland Manor’s cool basement.

4:53 PM

Well shit. I lost internet for a while, then got swept up in our last major stop for the day (besides dinner)–the Alvin C. York State Park. Wow. I got quite the education. Alvin C. York was a war hero from WWI. At first a conscientious objector, he was drafted into the war and ended up almost single-handedly capturing over a hundred Germans. Like, he was a big deal. Hollywood even made a movie about him (Sergeant York) that starred Gary Cooper. Anyway, we got to meet one of Sergeant York’s daughters and his great-granddaughter, as well as tour his home and property (which were given to the state after he and his wife died). Also, we got to tour the school that Sergeant York started when he returned from the war and that his great-granddaughter is now working to have renovated and turned into the Sergeant York Center for Peace and Valor.

Here’s a picture of a map of Germany that’s believed to have been used by York during the war.

The last thing we did before leaving the park was tour a replica of a WWI trench that was dug out and constructed in what used to be Sergeant York’s backyard. (Sergeant York would have lived in such a trench while fighting the war in Germany.) The tour was given by park employee Joseph Gamble, who wore the traditional “dough boy” uniform of WWI. (The term “dough boy” was also used to refer to soldiers in the Spanish-American war and most likely derives from the fact that the soldiers were often so covered in dust that they looked as if they had flour–or dough–all over them.) But seriously–can you imagine wearing that outfit every day and eating, sleeping, and living in what essentially amounts to a hole in the ground?

I certainly can’t.

5:18 PM

Now we’re almost to dinner, and my brain is more fried than a piece of chicken. Whenever we’re done eating, I want to go to bed–and not stay up to blog–so I’m trying to wrap this up. How do you summarize a beautiful day? I haven’t even mentioned my new friend Tom, a journalist from California with whom I’ve been speaking on and off the entire morning, afternoon, and evening. Tom’s an old war-horse, a veteran in the travel writing world, and hosts a podcast called Journeys of Discovery on NPR. He’s SO cool–curious, kind, interested, and interesting. Tom says that as journalists our strength is rooted in what we don’t know, not in what we do. I think this is important, to keep an open mind, to always be willing to learn, to not assume you have the entire damn world–including yourself and your neighbor–figured out.

Quotes from CoCo (Marcus)

You can't build a house, much less a life, from the outside-in. Rather, if you want something that's going to last, you have to start on the inside and work your way out, no matter how long it takes and how difficult it is.