It’s late, two in the morning, and I’m tired. Really, I’m in no shape to think. (Whatever you do, don’t let me vote.) Still, I must. Think, that is. Or at least try. (Geez, this is going so well.) I just finished listening to a lecture about synchronicity. Then, when I tried to “synch” my photos for tonight’s blog, they wouldn’t. This is called ironic. Anyway, it’s amazing how frustrated I can get when I’m tried (or hungry) and things aren’t working like I want them to. I can really pitch an internal fit. I can really tense up.

I’m telling myself I’m going to keep this short. This weekend I’ve did something I never do–relaxed. That is, I chilled out, visited people I care about, listened to music, watched television, drank a gin and tonic. Relaxed. I didn’t even read a book. Not one page. Consequently, due to all my inactivity, I don’t have a lot to talk about.

One thing I did do earlier tonight was look at stars. This is the first time I’ve really studied the heavens since winter. And whereas it was beautiful and fun, I’d forgotten a lot. I mean, the stars change from season to season, not to mention throughout the night. And since it’s been nearly a full year since I looked up at a spring sky, it’s going to take me a while to get reacquainted with its constellations and “major players.” But really, it’s been months since I’ve seen Jupiter. And yet there it was tonight not exactly but basically where I left it last year–near Scorpius.

Okay, my brain is failing, so I’m going to find a way to wrap this up. Lately I’ve been thinking about this relaxing thing, about how I’d really like my physical body and nervous system to relax, since I always feel slightly on edge, tense. For years I’ve gritted down to get stuff done and, in the process, ignored a lot of my body’s cries for a break. Stop pushing so hard. More and more I know we can’t go on like this. I’ve blogged a hundred times (or more) this late at night, and I just can’t keep it up. At least not tonight. I don’t know, I used to be worried that other people could relax and find peace and balance and that I couldn’t. But now I believe these things in all of us, waiting for us to come back to them. Like a planet or bright star int he sky, just because you can’t see them, doesn’t mean they’re not there. It’s just a matter of reconnecting with them, of finding yourself again.