This morning I woke up to an e-bill (from the lab that did my immunology testing) for $1,600.00. This is not a good way to start the day. (Marcus, from now on, at least wait until you get out of bed before checking your phone.) Anyway, I spent my morning dealing with this matter–calling the company to see what’s going on, talking to my insurance agent. After a solid hour of this business, the matter still isn’t resolved, but we’re closer. As it turns out, my first visit to the lab was billed to the wrong insurance (technically mine, but the wrong one), and the second visit is still being processed. My insurance agent said, “You can handle this when you get back. Stop worrying.”

Does she know me or what?

Similar incidents have happened a number of times this last year, and my therapist always reminds me that 1) this is the nature of medical billing and insurance, 2) the universe is abundant, and 3) considering my background with financial stressors, it’s normal for me to overreact. The good news, however, is that I actually didn’t overreact today. Sure, I stressed out a little, but I didn’t flip shit. So maybe my attitude about such things is improving. Yesterday I read that the word grail (as in the Holy Grail) is related to the word gradual. The point was that advances in consciousness (depicted as challenges and victories in the grail-quest legends) happen in phases, rarely all at once. My point is that I AM changing my mind about things–just a little at a time.

And that’s okay.

Other than dealing with the insurance company, I paid bills this afternoon and spent some time reading. Then this evening I (finally) mapped out a plan for getting to San Francisco. As it turns out, the drive is close to 18 hours, so I’ve decided to break it up into two days. Hopefully I’ll drive 13 or 14 hours tomorrow, find a place to spend the night (I have a few options already), then drive the rest of the way Friday morning/early afternoon. Since the dance event I’m attending starts Friday at 8 PM, this should work out just fine.

God willing and the creek don’t rise.

I’ve spent this evening getting ready for the trip–taking a shower, shaving, washing clothes. Now it’s 9:30, and I’m trying to keep this short so I can knock myself out with Benadryl and get some sleep. I’m going to TRY to get up early in the morning. (Early for me that is.)

When my family and I first got to Albuquerque, I noticed a car I hadn’t seen before in my sister and brother-in-law’s garage–an antique–a 1971 Volkswagen Karmann Ghia, it turns out. And whereas I’m not a “car guy,” I thought this car was awesome and asked my brother-in-law if we could go for a spin. So tonight before I cleaned up, he said, “Do you want to drive it? It’s a standard.” Hesitating because I technically know how to drive a standard but don’t do it often enough to be confident about it, I said, “Uh–uh–yes!”

I added the exclamation point, both on the blog and in real life, because I think it’s important to be enthusiastic about trying new things.

So my brother-in-law started out, then pulled over to let me try. And y’all, we give him a hard time sometimes for being rough around the edges, but he was a great teacher. First, he gave me a refresher course about all the pedals, then he talked me through any jerking or rough spots along the way. And whereas I thought we were just going to stay in the neighborhood, he navigated me onto the highway–historic Route 66. (As in, get your kicks on.) Talk about feeling like a badass–driving an antique convertible, top down, on Route 66.

Believe it or not–all things considered–I did a good job. I only stalled out once–at a stop sign. (Technically, I was just following directions.)

Just before we got back to the house, it started pouring down rain, so I pulled over and my brother-in-law put the top up and took over driving. (We couldn’t roll up the windows because he recently had the interior redone and hasn’t put the cranks for the windows back on.) Anyway, he sped home and pulled back in the garage. (We were only half-soaked.) The whole affair was one of the funnest things I’ve done in a long time. During the trip I kept getting nervous, like, What if I mess up or do something wrong? But honestly, my nervousness paled in comparison to the good time I was having, even the pride I felt at trying and learning something new. So again I’m reminded that life is meant to be fun, that we have time to figure things out, that we can “get our kicks” gradually.