It Is Possible (Blog #440)

Almost every day I blog in order to solve a problem–talk myself down from a ledge, work through my emotions, give myself hope. It’s just the habit I’ve fallen into here, trying to figure things out, trying to figure me out. Not every day is like this, of course. Some days, like today, are “good” from dawn to dusk. I don’t know why days like this exist. Maybe because some days are shit from sunup to sundown. (Can I get an Amen?) Regardless, I’m grateful for days like today, days that “work.”

This morning I woke up earlier than intended. (I hate that.) This probably happened because I’m pet-sitting a dog this week, and the dog’s in my room. And whereas she’s SUPER quiet (she never barks–I don’t think she knows how–maybe the cat got her tongue–haha), I can still hear her moving around, breathing. Anyway, I gave up trying to go back to sleep and started the day early. I had breakfast, read a book, made a phone call. I didn’t rush like normal. I read once that was a big part of having peace of mind–slowing down, taking your time. It said, “You should wake up early.”

Maybe it was right. (Maybe.)

This afternoon I saw my therapist and had a great session. A friend recently told me that “great” is an overused word like “nice,” that I could try saying “fabulous” or “wicked hot,” but a “wicked hot therapy session,” to me, sounds rather salacious, something that might involve a whip, which isn’t my idea of a mentally healthy good time. But I digress. Today my therapist and I discussed, among other things, a dream in which I yelled at someone. “FUCK YOU!” I said and then woke up. We decided the person I told off in my dream represented 1) barking up the wrong tree and 2) suppressing anger, so the fact that I was telling them to screw off was a good thing and meant I’m done with those behaviors in myself and others. “I’d love to have a dream in which I told someone to fuck off,” my therapist said. “I hope I have one.”

You belong exactly where you are.

After therapy I window-shopped at a vintage store then ate sushi and read a book. Then this evening the improv group I’m in performed at a private party as part of a local business’s team-building activities. Talk about fun–I’m always amazed when I see people put themselves out there and try new things for the first time. (Sort of like how I got up early this morning.) Finally, when the show was over, I had drinks with a friend from our group. Now, obviously, I’m blogging. So that’s it, just a lovely day. Not once did I feel rushed, panicked, or frightened. Well, I did get just a wee bit nervous before the show but took that as excitement. I told myself, This will be fun. (And it was.) So it is possible to move effortlessly from one thing to the next, to not get hung up, to act like you belong exactly where you are.

Quotes from CoCo (Marcus)

"

As the ocean of life changes, we must too.

"

by

Writer. Dancer. Virgo. Full of rich words. Full of joys. (Usually.)

Leave a Reply